I saw the comment that you are 18. I just want to let you know that your imagination to come up with this concept is incredible. Yes, you do need improvements with editing, grammar, etc. But your story line, dialogue and characters are refreshing to see and read from someone so young. I would change some thongs about the POV's. You tend to repeat a lot of the characters parts. I would limit some of the repetition when changing the POV's. Otherwise.... this is a refreshing new fantasy and I would love to read the second book when you are able to post it.
Read the story now
( Please consider reading and reviewing my book as well.... Tizanidine Dreams: True Love!)