Chapter 18: A Chapter Revolving Around Sunshine
Yea.. I’m Sunshine.. The blonde bad boy every fangirl’s been wetting their panties over.. Smart mouth with a sour attitude, plus a great heart deep down. Aren’t I great? Now before I go about bragging and continue this stupid story I’m in.. here’s some insight on where I got my name from.
I’m pretty sure that Alabaster has mentioned to you dweebs how our father was a violent pedofile and whatever so.. My father was trying to make me the ‘ bitch boy mcgee’ of the family. Expecting me to turn out the girly one and forced me into taking all the pills so I end up some cute little child for him to sell to weirdos. Luckily for me and Al’, Gru found out what went down and took us from his place and raised us as the kids… back when Gru was female… I don’t remember why she became a man but I think she just wanted us to have a ‘father figure’ or some shit. But in all honesty, we both ended up pretty fucked: Al’s a bisexual junkie with a raging labido and I’m a trigger happy pretty boy.
In middleschool since our original father forced me to be feminine.. I was trained like that and kind of dressed like a slutty teen girl.. I swear I’m glad my sexuality wasn’t affected. Dudes would hit on me all damn day and it would make me cringe SO MUCH..
Even then I was pretty asexual, until I seen Zoe walking past me one day at school. My little guy couldn’t help but to poke itself out. Before I knew it I was in the school bathroom.. Figuring out how I was going to get that bitch to fuck me.
Yes…. I have an extremely high labido.. I admit it..And you would not BELIEVE how salty she was as a kid. Then when puberty continues flying in my face and vagina became a necessity.. It’s the first year of me being a freshmen and I say, “ Why the fuck am I still wearing this gay shit?” My shoulders were more broad… and all this makeup bullshit is gay as fuck.. I also decide to give my hair a cut to a medium length and guess what? ALL ON MY JOCK WITH HER NERDY ASS! The motherfucker that was in her chess club was hella’ mad haha. But I’m going to continue the story.. My job was to quickly give an insight of my life..
I’m unsure what the hell Damien and Alabaster or doing.. Probably having gay sex or whatever.. Right now I’m just chillin’ in my room on the phone with my girl but if you’re curious on my bedroom appearance I admit to being a bit of a slob. My mattress with leopard designed on it I had to throw out because of how much of j________. It’s alright though, I got Zoe’s zebra striped blanket here she brought. Instead of a bong like Alabaster, I have over sixteen bowls in my room and a giant hookah on my dresser. Half of them are Zoe’s I bought for her and the rest designs are mine. A few clothes on the ground and a lot under my bed. You would not understand how much Gru would freak out when he sees the mess. Aside, I also have my own dart board in the wall… and a few pictures of people I cannot stand. Three lava lamps and my own dvd sets with a nice flatscreen television and dvd player. And.. that’s my room I guess.
There is no point of having some hot chick as a poster because like every other night Zoe’s ready for fun.. Plus she gets very intimidated FAST.
Now finally onto our call:
“ Hey baby, where have you been?”
“ SUNSHINE! I’m in the middle of a chess tournament right now-”
“ Chess tournament, Tennis, Cello instructions, When you going to give me some of that focus huh?”
“ But we spent the last day together..”
“ Can’t we just have EVERY day like that Zoe? Like geez I forgave you when I seen you and Cherry eating each other out-”
“ WELL, I’m sorry that she has an amazing ass.. You going to keep scolding me for that? Like me and her don’t even talk-”
“ See, you wonder why I’m extremely suspicious of everyone you talk to… but then you expect me to still be loyal.”
“ Hey I said I’m sorry.. That’s like the only time I cheated on you.”
“ Well what about when you slept with Alabaster? Explain that ho.”
“ OKAY OKAY, I forgot about him but that was when we were on our break-”
“ It took you A DAY to decide to sleep with my older brother!”
“ Well in all fairness, he is better at you with his tongue-”
I immediately begin to cringe with disgust, “Zoe.. I really don’t want to talk about it. The whole situation has me pissed beyond belief..”
“ Sunshine, I was just a little curious.. I wanted to see how good he was before we had a threeway or something..”, my jaw drops to shock on what she just said.
“ I AM NOT HAVING A THREEWAY WITH MY BROTHER, OR CHERRY!”
“ But Baby please, you both are so sexy and-”
“ NOPE, NOT LISTENING!”
“ But I WANT to feel ___CENSORED_____ I like it when he f-_CENSORED__ and when you slap your co-”
“ Zoe.. can you NOT..?”
“ UGH FINE! You’re such an asshole… I love you”, she laughs hysterically..
It’s always the smart pretty ones that go crazy.., “ I love you too.. Can you come over?”
“ Actually my parents wanted to meet you.. Be there at six?”
“ Yea.. sure cool.. You owe me some head by the way..”
“ Oh don’t worry.. I’ve already been warming up with barbecued hotdogs their grilling here.. Laters~”
-she hangs up
Before I can even lay my head back and think about her, ‘tweedle-dipshit’ and ‘fuckhead’ kick my door open and start looking through my stuff; and trust me, some stuff I own isn’t the best in the view of a public eye. “ WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!”, Alabaster replies back to me, “ Chillax Sunshine, we’re just looking for weed-” “ Yet you’re the one with like, three fucking weed plants stashed in the house!” Damien watches and sighs, “ Always so nosy?” “ NOSY?! YOU’RE in my room digging in my stuff!” Then Alabaster freezes for a minute and gasps.. My anxiety begins to rise in paranoia on what the hell he found. “ What is it?”, Damien asks. With a smile on his face he pulls out Zoe’s pink vibrator… the look on my face was so embarrassed. “ Oh Sunshine.. You have something you want to say to us-” “ DUDE, that’s not mine it’s Zoe’s-” “ Mm, I don’t know.. Pink is your favorite color”, Alabaster says teasingly while they both laugh.
Soon Damien begins to add in the joke, “ Ya’ know, it would be a shame if your friends found out you liked to play with it-” “I WILL MURDER THE BOTH OF YOU!” They both look at eachother and laugh.. It irritates me, “ WHAT’S SO FUNNY? HUH?!” Then the mocking me, “ He’s like an angry little power puff girl.. But more adorable to see him get flustered.”, Damien says smiling. Next thing you know I started chasing them around the house for a few hours with my rifle trying to shoot them for being pests.
Then Gru shows up.. Right where I think I’ve got both of the idiots cornered, “ SUNSHINE DAVID PETERSON! GET THE FUCK OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!” Ughhh, come on.. “ You heard him Sunshine-” “ ALABASTER STOP MOCKING YOUR BROTHER OR I’LL SELL YOUR PLANTS!” .. finally he shuts his c__ksucker. I face the gun I own down, and walk over to Gru calmly.. He slaps me upside the head and then speaks, “ WHAT were you THINKING? You love your brother don’t you?” Instead of answering I ignore the question for like a good minute.. Then realizing he’s still waiting for an answer and even Al’ is pretty excited to hear this. So I ask him something first, “ Can I be honest..?” Gru smiles at me, “ Please Sunshine, I would prefer it that way..” I look over to Alabaster with a deep sigh and let a rip, “ I hate your fucking guts and I want you to kill yourself.” “ SUNSHINE! Be nice..” “ Fuck being nice I don’t got time for this.. Sensitive girly shit. I have like an hour or so to get ready to meet Zoe’s parents today and I’ve already wasted most of it dicking around with these two dunderfucks-” “ LANGUAGE!”, Gru commands. “ Geez, this is almost as complicated as my family..”
Gru: “ Well Sunshine, I’ll tell you what.. You can get ready for your date, but you need to bring Alabaster-”
Sunshine: “ WHAT!? He’s going to JUST fuck things up for me-”
Alabaster: “ Oh, you’re worried about me? You are one of the most insensitive people I’ve met! If it was just yourself you would screw it up. With me there you will at least have someone to apologize for you-”
Sunshine: “ Men don’t apologize for being blunt fairy-”
Gru: “ Sunshine, that wasn’t a request.. It was an order.”
I sigh and apologize to Alabaster, “ I’m ‘sorry’.” He smiles back at me and gives me a hug… pfft what a weirdo.
Damien: “ Hey.. what about me? Am I coming-”
Sunshine: “FUCK NO!”
Gru: “ Sunshine, we’re all going..”
Sunshine: “ WHAT?! YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!”
Damien: “ Sweet, an asian family.. So is like.. Her mom jamaican and brazilian and her father south korean?”
I hold whatever violent bone is possible so I don’t sucker punch this bitch in his skull. It’s going to take all the courage of mine to deal with this.. But I make the first establishment required, “ I’m taking a shower first..”
I grab me a nice suit and tie in black but cut the sleeves off to make it look more like myself. Taking like fifteen minutes to get ready and slick my hair back with a dab of Axe… Right when I get out I see Gru’s changed his outfit so he looks like a professor at a college. Then comes Alabaster and Damien shoving me out of the way with their clothes falling on the way in. Of course they need to be ‘together’...
Me and Gru wait for around twenty seven minutes: Al’ had on a buttoned down short sleeve white top with a red auburn vest and black tie.. His pants were white dress pants.. Hmm.. halfway right at least. Damien on the other hand? He looked like a total fuckboy: hair in a short ponytail, a little white bowtie around his neck tuxedo shirt on and some grayscale american flagged joggers. Once this thing is over he’s going to get a foot up his ass.
We all take different cars.. For me, it’s my brand new cadillac, Gru’s ‘soccer mom’ vehicle, and Damien rode in Al’s Geep. And walking out of the vehicles made us look like the strangest squad imaginable.
Zoe’s house wasn’t too big it it was modern sized for being in Amerasia.. It was.. Definitely very traditional. I hope her father doesn’t remember me from the last time I was here.. I didn’t exactly have the best first impression…
“ HAHA! Damn, when she said she was asian she really meant it.”, Damien starts bursting in laughter.
“ Shut ..up..”, I say to him. He rolls his eyes and starts to walks up the stairs to her house.
“ Oh geez, that staircase is a little high..”, Gru says calmly. “ Ya’ know.. Speaking of high..”, Alabaster pulls out a bowl and lighter.. “ Alabaster.. I swear to fucking God if you-”, and right before I end my threat he inhales it until I punch it so hard the glass breaks into his face. “ OW! WHAT THE HELL..”, he begins whining.. What a baby.. Gru doesn’t even say shit because he knows Alabaster had that coming. Man.. it’s already turning out a mess..
Anywho we’re finally in and at the table with them eating dinner.. Her parents were both korean mixed with black heritage and kind of old looking.. Alabaster is stoned out of his mind, None of us are talking and her father is just awkwardly staring at me… Zoe even senses it too. Slowly I begin to open my mouth to try and make conversation.. Damien has something to say, “ Wow, this chicken is delicious.. Ya’ know I’ve always been a fan of fried chicken right? And some rap culture trends’ as you can see my outfit’.” Alright I can’t take it.. I crush one of his toes by stomping on it but he’s very good at hiding pain as a small tear trickles down with a smile. “ I’m sorry about him Mr. and Mrs. Garnell he’s just.. A little autistic so he doesn’t know right from wrong..”
Her parents gasp..
Mrs. Garnell: “Oh you poor boy.. For shame on you then! You poor young, youthful sexy boys…”,she says as she glares at me and Alabaster licking her lips.
I’m a little uncomfortable.
Mr. Garnell: “ Honey, stop perving on these children! It’s VERY dishonorable! Now what is your name.. The boys’ father?”
Gru: “ Oh, Greetings… My name is Gru Psy-”
Mr. Garnell: “ Question, why you so dark?”
Gru: “ Uhm, I’m a light tan-”
Mr. Garnell: “ No no no, your boys are so pale and pasty.. The one with freckles is a little tanner but not as golden as you.. Did they get it from their mothers?”
Gru: “ Uhh, I guess you can say that.”
God, we’re already having the most awkward conversation…
Mr. Garnell: “ So did they have loose moral? My wife has definite loose morals and a total harlot. I married her ’cuz she has great body and nice face for children. What about you?”
Gru: “ Mm, something similar.”, he sweats nervously to all the questions.
Mr. Garnell: “ Ah, best keep an eye on your boys then”, him and his wife begin laughing, “ Or I’ll cut their little snakes off.” they continue laughing.
Me and Alabaster begin looking at each other nervously and even Gru is kind of freaked out.
Mr. Garnell: “ Zoe, who’s the boyfriend of these two boys… it better not both.”, Zoe whispers in her father’s ear.., “ Oh, I see.. But who’s the freak?”, she whispers in her father’s ear again. “ Ah, thank you..” She smiles and scoots back to where she was sitting.
Mr. Garnell: “ Sunshine is your name?”
Sunshine: “ Yes sir-”
Mr. Garnell: “ Aren’t you wanted by the law in seven different continents in our land? I seen you on the channel 78 news.. No need to pretend I know you’re a little hoodlum.”, My body freezes still as Alabaster looks at me smiling.
Damien: “ Well, I have to go to the bathroom, excuse me”, he gets up and leaves. Finally..
Zoe: “ Father it’s not what you think-”
Mr. Garnell: “ No no, it’s alright… it’s good.. Keep my daughter safe, okay?”, I nod at him. “ Good, you planning on staying the night? I was thinking about us having some father and son-in-law family activities tomorrow.”
Sunshine: “ Seriously? That would be great Mr. Garnell thanks-”
Mr. Garnell: “ Please, call me Rick.. it’s a pleasure to meet a youth who was just like I as a young adult.”
Gru smiles, “ Alright Alabaster.. Say goodbye to them.”
I look over to them tired and scratch my neck until getting up. Highfiving their father and heading outside with Gru to see Damien on his phone calling. Gru ignores and heads to the car while I walk over to him.. Wondering what he’s doing. “ Hey, what’s up?”, he sighs and looks at me guilty with watered eyes, “ It’s Hazel… she killed herself.”