Chapter 12: Block the Ties
She pouts towards me and says, “ Uhm, I am NEVER satisfied.. And Sunshine isn’t helping with him constantly being around that transkid Hazi.” I laugh a little, “ What’s wrong with Hazi? Well I mean, I never met her but Alabaster doesn’t like her but everyone loves them-” “ She is a MANIPULATIVE, skanky bitch! And she’s spoiled, like what the fuck? Her drunk father lets her get away with everything to make up for the abuse and she always acts her fakest when Gru is in the room. I wouldn’t blame Alabaster for not like her since she practically opens her legs for every person he’s talked to. And then now the ‘trans thing’. I swear she was only doing it for Damien because he’s gay but-” “ WOAHHH, nevermind.. Forget I ever said anything.” She sighs deeply and closes her eyes, “ I’m sorry.. I just.. Really hate her.. To a passionate feel.”
Damn, all the girls here are so dramatic and always at eachother.. I wish I could find one as laid back as me but I doubt it.. I just got to make out the little romance this is supposed to be.
Soon the door opens and we both look back to it, unable to clothe ourselves and pray that it’s not Sunshine.. He would DESTROY me.. It isn’t Alabaster .. but the person isn’t bad either. It’s Gru!
He blushes and drops the laundry basket he’s carrying, trying to cover his eyes. It’s.. kind of cute, “ My pardons young lady’s I was unknown you were in here.” Me and her both look at each other and giggle.. I slide back on my thong and shorts and she buttons up her shirt. We walk out to him and he looks at us confused. The poor man must be super stressed with keeping up with the boys: Alabaster is a sensitive junkie and Sunshine is just… awful.. A very awful person. I’m pretty sure that he tried raping Alabaster by now. There is nothing I think he hasn’t done.. And he doesn’t like how I can see through him, or how close I am with Alabaster.
Sunshine’s so good at hiding everything, that what Gru can stop, he is unaware about. But I wonder if it’s just the alcohol he engulfs in his system. I remember when he’s sober he isn’t that bad of a person, but he’s 94% of the time drunk.
“ Afternoon Cherry, how’s Alabaster doing?”, My thoughts are interrupted by the handsome man standing before me. “Uhm, I haven’t seen him since earlier when we woke up.” He blinks, “ Oh.. it’s rather late now.. You don’t think he’s out partying right?” “Mmm, nah, he will be back for dinner tonight I’m sure.” He smiles with reassurance, “ Ah, that’s good to hear, does he ever talk to you about what he goes through? Sunshine always opens up to me but never in the best ways.” I sigh and try to think, “ Well, some of the time but he usually kind of holds it in a lot.” He frowns and nods,” I’m thinking of giving him a psychiatrist instead of Sunshine. That’s why I ask.”
He walks away, leaving the laundry basket there and heads downstairs for a slumber, then my phone rings, the song Hollaback Girl is my my ringtone. I’m a sucker for Gwen Stefani. I have an Iphone 5 S, looking at the caller it’s a facetime from Damien. Now THIS I got to check out. Zoe left so I guess it would be safe to do this?:
“ Cherry hey uh-”
“Damien, why the hell are you in the hospital?”
“ Long story, but hey, you think you can pick me up? Like Al’ practically left me stranded here.”
“ Oh, he must’ve came back to get Hazi-”
“ Yea but I’m here still!”
“ Well, not making it sound too rude, Alabaster is going through a bit right now and he doesn’t know if getting back with you is going to make it better.”
“Pfft, like what? Lately he’s been WAY more of an emotional wreck than he normally is. Like I’m not going to apologize for screwing his cousin or friends. Why would I say sorry for something I enjoyed?”, he begins laughing.
I hang up on him.. I’m sorry Damien, we’ve been close friends for years but I’m getting tired of your shit..
Sitting in my room, writing down my anger, thoughts, sketching portraits of pain and agony: Hello world, I hate you all… I am yet your typical person who is disgusted by everyone and wants to eliminate anyone in their way. I’m so normal aren’t I? I giggle to myself and then hear knocks from the outside of my bedroom door..
With a huff of anger, I get up from my bed and walk to the door and open it to see my older brother Robert outside the room. Rolling my eyes I answer, “ What..?” “ Hey sis’ uhm.. I’m glad you finally got your head straight again about being a girl”, he chuckles.. Stay calm Hazel.. Pretend he’s a little retarded, “ So.. one of my buddy’s wanted to take you for a ride. I figured we could have like a double date sort of thin-” “ Robert I’m not whoring myself so you can get laid.” “ Psh, what are you, lesbo? I thought you liked dick-” And that’s where I slam his fingers in the door causing him to screech; serves him right.
In my room is an assortment of a lot of gothic, wiccan stuff. My ouija board and candles on my dresser, pointed thorns around my mirror, whatever you would expect an evil child to have I guess.
Ever since I was little I always fancied the darkside and demons. Damien may have broke me out of my shell but Sunshine showed me how to have fun. I remember we would always shoplift all the time and prank people and go on fun little torment sessions… until he met Zoe and I wanted to be a guy more. I guess he sort of got bored with me but he would always have this weird love feeling towards Alabaster. And Damien is practically OBSESSED with him and it’s.. Just not fair. Like what the fuck does he have that I don’t?
Whatever.. I’m sure they will both come around and beg for me. I just need to be patient. Plus I got a lot of people to contact as well. I’m not ugly… but I’m just wondering if I should continue or not? Like I don’t mind being a guy but as a girl.. It’s much easier to get what I want. Maybe when I need to I will crossdress. For now I will remain the same Hazel I guess? I’m just so use to dressing like a guy all the time. It feels more normal.. I don’t know..
We’re home.. We’ve been home. Sitting at the dining table, everyone eating.. Acting normal.. Like we are normal.. A normal little family..
Everyone just eating their food and I can’t.. I’m not hungry.. I’m nothing, emotionally dead. And there he is.. Just staring at me, noticing how dead I am now.. How uncomfortable I am… how worthless I feel… I was forced into sexual relations.. Soon he replies and says, “ Hey what’s wrong with him, why aren’t you eating?”, I remain silent and continue staring down at my plate being angry at myself. “Hey dipshit”, he flings an olive at me, “ I’m talking to yo-” “Leave him alone Sunshine!”, Cherry yells at him, “ He’s obviously depressed because you did something to him! Come on Alabaster, let’s go upstairs.” She pulls me out of me seat and he stares at me pissed, “ Nah I just uh, I’m not very hungry right now. I’m sorry Sunshine, but will you excuse me?” His face turns tamers and he continues eating the roast beef Gru prepared. And slowly we walk upstairs.
It’s great to know she understood.. In my room I lay down and watched and soon decided to cuddle by me, then I turn to her. “ What.”, I say to her sounding irritated. “ Well.. what the fuck happened?” I look down at her body and then make her a deal, “ Okay, if I tell you… you have to lay with me for the rest of the night.” “ Mm, easy enough now tell me?” Slowly I take a deep breathe and whisper to her all the things he made me do in that car with him, tears going down my face and her jaw dropping. “ Oh my... fucking god.. He RAPED you? Wait…... why?” “ I have no clue...” “No that’s not what I’m talking about. UGH! I hate your brother.. Come here you.” She grabs onto me and clings me closer to her chest and smothers me with the most warming embrace ever. I blush and lay myself in her.. Calming myself down from anxiety….. Until he comes and sees us. I quickly get up and she soon sees him as well.
He stares at me and speaks, “ Can I talk with you.. Without her?” “ Uhm ew, no! I’m calling the cops!” “ Yea, like their going to believe that, fuck outta’ here.. Give us space wench.” She then stands up and reaches for a punch but he grabs her fist and throws her far outside the room and locks the door. Staring at me with a deep sigh and sits by me. Me, being terrified and shivering..
He looks at me again, “ Ugh, why the fuck are you so weird.. Come closer to me.. I’m not holding a gun this time… if you don’t I’m going to pin you down”, he winks while make an annoyed face. I’m so paranoid and scared.. I don’t know how to react.. But I definitely don’t want to be pinned down again so I scoot closer.
“ Look… I’m sorry for.. Doing that to you Al.. I just..”, he sighs, “ I couldn’t help myself.. I know I’m an awful person but I knew that if I asked you would have been like ‘oh what the fuck, that’s gross’-”
“BECAUSE YOU’RE MY FUCKING BROTHER! That’s SICKENING!”
“ Pfft, so? Didn’t stop you when we were younger-”
“WE WERE CHILDREN! Don’t treat it like it’s ‘normal’... it’s not ‘normal’ to do that stuff to your family Sunshine!”
He looks down at me, then back up in my eyes, “ Yea but, I mean..”
“ No Sunshine, we were FUCKING RAPED by our dad and he FORCED us to do that and WE kept doing it because we were taught it was NORMAL until.. I realized how fucked up the whole thing was when Damien talked to me-”
“ Oh, it’s ALWAYS about Damien. Damien this, Damien THAT! Damien is my baby and I’ll s___k his d__k until it’s dry~”
“ I never said that!”
“ Well you sure as FUCK brag about him like he’s the center of the world to you.. Would it be so bad if you just.. tried me-”
“ Yes.. WHERE THE FUCK IS ALL THIS COMING FROM? You have a girlfriend that fucking loves you-”
“She’s a slut.”
“ Hazel obviously is always up your ass-”
“ What is wrong with you?”
“... I.. love you.. And always have.. And I get drunk all the time hating myself for it…”
I sigh and lean my headback, “ But you’re my brother..”
“ Uhm.. no…? Gru said that when he claimed up our birth certificates it reads me as some random person’s stolen kid.. You’re just that dumb bitches child that fell in love with him.”
I roll my eyes and laugh, “ That’s a fucking lie..”
“ Al’, we don’t even LOOK ALIKE! Coincidence?”
“ I think it’s time for you to get out-”
“ Please.. Just at least give me a kiss? It took me a lot to say this to you finally.”
I stand up and unlock the door, opening it for him and he gets up walking out… God.. what a fucked up day for me..