My first impression after reading your prologue, which I agree is a little unnecessary, though entertaining because of it being with Russell Crowe's voice, is that you could really stand to proofread and edit a little more. I totally get that it's difficult to catch mistakes when it's your own work, but for me this has read like a rough draft rather than a final product. If you'd like someone to edit/proofread for you, I'd be glad to help you for sure; I've done it in the past for others and they have been pleased with my suggestions, even if they didn't always go with my minor changes. However, I think you have an awesome premise for the story so far and I'm looking forward to reading the rest very soon. Keep it up!
Read the story now